I feel the need to explain ...

I have been trying to write this first blog entry for months. I follow many creative and inspiring blogs, and there is nothing more daunting than reading their latest entries and then sitting down to write your own. But I need to stop being a perfectionist ... so I have promised myself that today's efforts will be published. So WELCOME to my blog. My hope is that it will be a real place - sometimes happy, sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always genuine.

My life has changed significantly recently and I am finding it difficult to put those life-changing moments into words ... here is my best attempt ...

After 4 years of trying to become a mother, my daughter was born on November 1st, 2010. On November 7th, the most beautiful little girl was placed in my arms by her birth mother and my world was forever changed. I remember the moment that our hotel room door closed behind her birth mother and the social worker - my husband and I just looked at each other, and then at the baby, and then back at each other. What I saw in his eyes was 4 years of sadness melting away. 4 years of waiting and hoping and wishing coming to an end. There had been a lot of tears during those 4 years. Every period, every bad test result, every friend that announced a pregnancy. But in that moment, it all just made sense. This was what it was all for. She was ours and we were hers, and it had to take 4 years for our paths to cross. Maybe, I'm just being sentimental and looking for profound meaning where only coincidence and good timing exist. But you'll have to allow me this indulgence.

My daughter is 3 months old now and has been steadily burrowing her way deeper into my heart since that first day. I finally understand why parents talk incessantly about their children ... you just can't help it. I have a life outside of motherhood, one that I will share more about in future posts. But today it's about my daughter and how she has changed me. She has reminded me of what happiness feels like, of what joy looks like, and that sometimes the best things in life really can follow profound sadness and loss.

Photos taken by http://www.robynmichelleleephotography.com/